your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
