Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just had sex on a roof
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
