Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
