first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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