Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
