It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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