i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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