your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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