Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
