what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
