I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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