he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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