As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I would ride that face into the sunset
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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