when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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