what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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