I'm so fucking centered right now
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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