Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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