I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
