the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
