Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So much Jack, so little girl.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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