I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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