Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
