I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
