She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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