Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
