Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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