Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
