I accidentally had phone sex last night
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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