it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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