I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
