Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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