ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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