WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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