Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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