Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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