Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
