And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
