And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
