make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
