I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
