i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
