the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
