scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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