I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
