I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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