I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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