Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So apparently I’m into choking now
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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