My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Damn victory sex feels great
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
