so that wasnt chicken after all
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
