should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
