we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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