and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My dick has a subreddit
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
