pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
